Tattoos and Burritos...

So heres the deal.... When someone asks to look at or compliments your tattoos, Its not because they like yours, Its because they want to show you theirs! I guarantee this!! This issue is what leads us into our story....

Mikey and I decide to stop in the ol' Town and Country last night on the way home to get some burritos. (because we all know those are the best burritos on the planet!) Anyway, this is just another "Normal" stop in T&C for us, I juggle some lemons, Mikey puts some bananas on his head....you know, the normal things that you do.... Well, we order our burritos (and a Chimi!) and we go to the register to pay...

Well, the guy ringing us up gives us the total and I start to pay him and he says, Hey man, Nice work on your arm there......Now, I already know where he's going with this. So I say thanks and just stare at him without saying another word. Sure enough he says......Yeah....Mine aren't that nice... Now, since I already know the routine and Im kinda annoyed about it.. I say, oh, do you have some prison ink?? Well, he lifts up his sleeve and I see THE WORST tattoo ever!!! Hes got like an oddly shaped Dice (or die I guess it would be..) with FTW under or behind it.... I don't know, I couldn't tell.Oh, but it doesn't stop there, I say, "Wow, Looks like you tried to get a little cover up there" Cause to ME it looked like he tried to cover the FTW with the die... But Mikey just plainly states, "Looks like a die with FTW in it!" To which the clerk replies, "YEAH! IT IS!" then he proceeds to tell us he got it done in the back of a truck going 90mph by a friend with a guitar string while he was stoned..... So of course I'm HELLA impressed and I wanna be this guys best friend because hes SO COOL!!! no......

So then he decides to show me the rest of his tattoos.... and for the life of me, I cant figure out why every loser stoner with a crappy job who looks 30 years older then they are ALWAYS has a TAZ tattoo.....and low and behold...tattoo number 2......TAZ. I think to myself....Typical. This is his best tattoo by far. Now if i had this thing on my arm, i would have shot the fool that lied about being good at tattoos... But Clerk Boy here seemed to like it. Then he told me this one was done at home by his brother with a guitar sting... Now does this dude REALLY think Im Impressed?? So i say, "dang dude, you need to get some REAL art or somthin!!!" He Just smiles and points to his knuckles (which is already a pretty trashy place to get tattoos, Unless you're Ozzy or play in Rancid) So his Knuckles say something like "LONG" Or whatever. And they look.......rough to say the least. I kinda cringe when i see it. And then he says, "Yeah, this one was done with a hypodermic needle and some ink!" Im Like woah!!! Hey "AIDS" don't touch My burrito!!! Dang!! This fool has gotta be contagious!!! Im gonna say this is the most UNCLEAN dude I have ever met, and he was totally stoked about that!!!! All I know is that HIV boy is NOT allowed to serve me food EVER!!!

So, in conclusion.....don't ask me to see my tattoos unless you really wanna see em......Cause I really dont care about yours!!

LATE
Kelly K